The pool is sooo....
is sooooo
soooo
uhhhh
The hard rock pool is that one place i just. kinda. really. wanna. love.
I wish I felt love for Relax Pool Parties. I want to give them our highest rating...I just can't.
Now- I know that Relax and Rehab are very different. In fact, I have yet to enter the dangerous, cutthroat world of Rehab. Going to Rehab on a Sunday requires about a 40 pound deficit and 4 inch heels. Relax doesn't require all that jazz- cause it isn't a modeling contest.
But I think I'm not the only one who knows that.
In fact, I think that Relax kinda treats it's goers as C-level while Rehab is treated as quite A-list indeed. Herein lies my conflict.
I'm a local- I want to looovvveee Relax.
And I just do not.
Cute cocktail servers, hott hosts...abundence of cabanas....but...I just feel like the Hard Rockers don't want to give any love to the locals.
The 2nd pool was closed. What was that about?!
I mean- what a time to schedule a cleaning! you're gonna bump the locals.
Now, part of this entitlement feeling is really just good business sense. You impress me once...meh...but you impress me twice, three times, more and I have the option of coming back over an extended period of weekends and spending massive amounts of money...impress me. Don't clean your pool on my day. Fuck the tourists- we want our love too. Otherwise, we will go to the M, cause they all want us.
we want to feel wanted, Hard Rock.
they have an unfortunate way of making you feel like you should feel privaleged enough to be here. Motha...we went to high school together- don't front. These sassy service industry professionals...we know you. We are here to hang out with you, you're probably our friend. Comp us a bottle, we'll throw you a tip- every.single.time.
So Hard Rock, what I am saying is this: Worship your locals. Tell them to keep coming back. And then we tell the tourists to visit you. Otherwise, we're drinking out of our own backyard, lying in our own daybeds and ordering a catering service. Shhhiiittt..
I must give credit to our ever fabulous host, though. I call Brian Bluma at the last minute- or text him randomly at midnight and he is more than willing to take care of a sistah! And ALLL OF YOU SHOULD GO SEE HIM!
Brian Bluma
Hard Rock VIP
Host
702.750.7658
Tell him the socialites sent ya.
And then we have moments of running into Cary Hart
and Chuck Liddel
and we remember how bad we just wanna love this place. If only, it'd love us back.
Plus- this is what we do post-sun and fun
We are suhhhh fucking fabulous.
we sooo stupid...
